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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – September 2016

A Suspected Meth Lab beneath a Walmart Parking Lot Has Officials “Completely Astounded”

A giant, graffiti-filled storm sewer beneath a Walmart parking lot in Upstate New York may have housed a shocking setup: an underground laboratory used for making methamphetamine, police said.  Authorities in Amherst, a suburb of Buffalo, have opened an investigation into the suspected meth lab some 12 feet under the superstore parking lot, along a busy thoroughfare that leads to the town’s shops, according to local news reports. “I was completely astounded,” Amherst Highway Superintendent Patrick G. Lucey told the Buffalo News. “It’s like, are you kidding me? It’s just not something you run across. I’m sure it can happen. Anywhere at any time somewhere where there’s the opportunity and the motive, it can happen. But this was definitely something new.”  [Source: The Washington Post]

Mother-of-Six Made Millions Shoplifting over 45 Years

The woman is now claiming benefits says she has GIVEN UP looking for work – as she needs ‘£1,000 a week to be comfortable’  A former shoplifter who claims she made almost £2million during her 44-year ‘career’ as a thief says she has given up looking for a job that would pay enough to match the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed.
Kim Farry, 55, from Fulham, London, dubbed the ‘millionaire shoplifter’ said she made a ‘business’ out of her ill-begotten gains – which has seen her jailed seven times. Her life of crime allowed her to enjoy designer clothes, plastic surgery and exotic holidays.

Now she has changed her ways she says she has no choice but to claim £1,300 a month in benefits, including housing allowance, as she can’t find suitable work. ‘I don’t want to work in a shop, it’s boring. There is more to me than standing at a till. It’s not enough money for me,’ she said on the latest episode of Channel 5’s On Benefits. She added: ‘I only want to earn big money, I am not earning stupid money because of what I used to earn. You need a £1,000 a week to be comfortable.’  [Source: Daily Mail]

Attempt to Steal Priest’s Liquor Lands Man in Prison

A man was sentenced to three years in prison after admitting to assisting in a burglary at Blessed Sacrament, including into the priest’s residence. Devin K. Stull, 19, entered a guilty plea to one count of burglary, a second-degree felony. Assistant Licking County Prosecutor Chris Reamer said Stull and two juveniles broke into the residential area of the Church of the Blessed Sacrament. The burglars ransacked several rooms inside the church, looking for items to steal, and broke a secure door, which led to a safe, which they tried to enter, Reamer, said.
Court records show the burglars attempted to steal bottles of liquor before Father Jonathan Wilson, who was inside, yelled and caused the burglars to flee.

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Reamer recommended a three-year prison sentence, citing Stull’s criminal history as a juvenile and an arrest in November for underage consumption, obstructing official business and disorderly conduct while intoxicated. Branstool agreed with the three-year sentence and told Stull he clearly wasn’t getting the message about his behavior. “This is how people get killed,” he said of the burglary.

Branstool gave Stull credit for 165 days in jail and ordered him to pay $1,000 in restitution to the Columbus Diocese to cover costs not handled by insurance for damage done to the church. The two juveniles were also found delinquent in Licking County Juvenile Court on burglary charges. A 17-year-old was committed to the Department of Youth Services for at least one year, according to court records. A 15-year-old was given a suspended sentence in DYS custody and will be on a period of indefinite supervision. [Source: Newark Advocate]

Man Stole Pizza because He Said He Was “God”

In an unusual retail theft report, police said a man stole a box of pizza because “his name was God and everything was his.” Police say Adam Farrell of Scranton refused to give his name when a store employee approached him and asked if he planned on paying for the pizza. Farrell continued eating and told the store employee he was God.

When approached by police, Farrell said he was “God and the police was the Devil.” Police took Farrel into custody and identified his real name through a fingerprint check. Farrell pleaded guilty to retail charges before a judge and was later released.  [Source: ABC27 News]

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Man Broke into Ohio Jail for Protection

A 23-year-old man called 911 Saturday from inside of an Ohio jail, saying he was trying to get to safety. Chad Saylor, 23, climbed a pipe and ultimately became trapped inside Butler County Jail, according to police. Officers found him there unharmed.

“Mr. Saylor told dispatchers that people were after him with weapons and trying to kill him and he needed to get to safety. I’m guessing he came to the right place,” Butler County Sheriff Richard Jones said on Facebook. Saylor was ultimately arrested, not for breaking into the jail, but because he had an active warrant for theft, Dayton Daily News reports. Police didn’t locate or arrest anyone else related to the incident. A few days ago, an inmate escaped from the same jail and was found a day later. “With this most recent guy successfully getting into the compound, I’d say we’re one up on the bad guys,” Jones said.  [Source: USA Today]

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