You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – October 2016

Doughnut Heist Leads to Capture of Wanted Man

Authorities say a fugitive’s sweet tooth helped police capture a wanted New Mexico man after he tried to take a doughnut without paying for it.

The Hobbs News-Sun reports Gregory Mendoza was arrested Monday outside of a Hobbs bakery after police received a report he stole a doughnut. Police then discovered the 35-year-old Mendoza was wanted on a number of charges, including cruelty to animals and traffic violations. New Mexico court records show Mendoza has 10 pending charges out of Carlsbad Magistrate Court from July. Mendoza also has charges pending in Las Vegas Magistrate Court, including aggravated fleeing a law enforcement officer. It was not known if Mendoza had an attorney. [Source: Hobbs News-Sun]

Man Arrested over Theft of 70 Women’s Raincoats

Police in Mobara, Chiba Prefecture, have arrested a 30-year-old man on suspicion of stealing at least 70 women’s raincoats. According to police, the suspect, Shosuke Saito, has admitted to the thefts and was quoted as saying he got turned on by the smell of women’s raincoats, Fuji TV reported. Saito, a part-time worker, was initially charged with the theft of five raincoats belonging to female staff at a health drink retail store on between 7:30 p.m. on April 26 and 8 p.m. on April 27.

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On May 11, he was caught in the act trying to steal raincoats from another store. Police subsequently raided his home and found at least 70 raincoats. Saito said he stole women’s raincoats on at least 30 occasions. He said he had loved the feel of raincoats ever since he was a little boy. [Source: Japan Today]

On This Day, Peak Florida Has Been Reached

In a scene deserving of a “Yakety Sax” score, a 350-pound Florida man ran from a Walmart with two stolen TVs, but his getaway was compromised when his pants, containing his ID, “fell off as he ran away,” according to cops who yesterday apprehended the suspect, who had a crack pipe stuffed with Brillo buried in his anus at the time of his 3:43 AM arrest. [Source: The  Smoking Gun]

Woman Late for Work Lies about Clown Attacking Her

Police say an 18-year-old Ohio woman lied about being attacked by a knife-wielding clown as an excuse for being late for work. Police in the Cincinnati suburb of Reading say investigators found inconsistencies in 18-year-old Alexsandra Conley’s story and charged her with making a false alarm, a misdemeanor.

WCPO-TV reports Conley said someone dressed like a clown jumped a fence Saturday, waved a knife at her and cut her thumb. No phone listing could be found for the Hamilton woman. It couldn’t immediately be determined whether she has an attorney. [Source: WCPO-TV]

ZING! THUD! Suspect Flings Batarang into Seattle Police Car

A 23-year-old man was being held on felony assault charges after he threatened a bouncer with a homemade spear and then slung a Batarang into the car of the cops who were chasing him, Seattle police said Wednesday.

You read that right: a Batarang. As in, one of Batman’s boomerangs. The suspect, who wasn’t identified but who clearly appeared to have a thing for superheroes, first swung his improvised spear, a knife attached to a metal pole, at a bouncer Monday night at a bar on Capitol Hill, north of downtown, police said.  Police responded and started chasing the man, who produced a “sharp, black Batman-style throwing star” and flung it at the cop car.

His aim was true: The Batarang flew into the SUV’s lower front end.  Police said they were requesting further charges of weapons violations and obstruction of justice against the man, who they reassured residents is “not Batman.” [Source: NBC News]

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