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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – May 2019

Florida woman pulls alligator out of pants during traffic stop

A Florida woman pulled an alligator out of her pants during a traffic stop in Charlotte County Monday morning. The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office said in a Facebook post that the woman removed the gator from her pants after being asked the standard “Do you have anything else?”

The sheriff’s office said she also had 41 three-stripe turtles in the vehicle. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission responded to take over the investigation… ABC8 News

Delivery man stops robbery and still delivers pizza in under 30 minutes

A Domino’s delivery man did more than hand off a couple of pizzas during a run. Alou Bathily, who arrived in the United States about two months ago from West Africa, was in the middle of fulfilling an order around 6 p.m. on New York City’s Upper West Side when he spotted a police chase in progress.

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Authorities were in pursuit of a man they believed was part of a group of six people who, about an hour earlier, were seen pulling a woman’s hair and stealing her headphones. When the officers spotted the suspect and told him to stop, he started running.

Realizing the accused thief was about to get away from the cops, CBS 2 News reports that 21-year-old Bathily pursued the man on his bike. The individual, who was later identified as a 17-year-old boy, then tried to escape again, but Bathily tackled him to the ground and sat on him until the police officers caught up.The teen has been charged with robbery, forgery, petty larceny and trademark counterfeiting.

Despite the worthwhile distraction, Bathily, still managed to honor Domino’s “delivery in 30 minutes or less or it’s free” policy. As the Facebook post from the 20th precinct noted, “We’re told the pizza guy still managed to honor the 30 minute delivery guarantee on the pie…” US Magazine

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Robbers looking for a phone upgrade

Two men were arrested after, witnesses said, they robbed a woman’s smartphone at gunpoint in Northwest Miami-Dade, then returned it to her when they realized it wasn’t an iPhone.

It appears that desire for an upgrade may just be what landed the alleged cellphone snatchers in handcuffs. “They returned it back to her. That’s what made us call the police, because we got the tag when they returned the phone back to us, so that’s when I called the police,” said the witness… WSVN7 News

Couple made laxative cookies for striking workers

Police in Uhrichsville, Ohio, say a couple made laxative-laced cookies for striking school employees because they were tired of the noise from the picket line near their home.

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Authorities in eastern Ohio say none of the striking workers ate the sugar cookies, but the couple was charged with contaminating the treats.

Police say the pair complained on Facebook about drivers honking in support of the striking bus drivers, cooks and custodians. Investigators say they also made a video showing the laxative pills being mixed into the cookie batter… Yakima-Herald

Subject involved in underwear clad crime spree sentenced to jail

The 27-year-old Cadillac, Michigan, man who was arrested in a Haring Township home wearing only his underwear and a shirt last February was sentenced for his part in multiple crimes including breaking and entering and retail fraud recently in 28th Circuit Court.

At 10 a.m. on Feb. 4, troopers from the Cadillac Michigan State Police Post were dispatched to the Cecil Road residence in response to a home invasion. Police said troopers learned three children, ages 12, 14 and 15, were at home when a man in his underwear, Anthony Adam-Aaron Billett, entered the house carrying a television. At the same time, police said the children’s parents arrived home, removed them from the house and called 911… Cadillac News

Police search for man who stole baby formula while wearing bonnet and dress

Police in Florida are searching for a man who stole baby formula from a Florida Publix while wearing a blue bonnet cap and flowered dress. The Cape Coral Police Department said that officers responded to a call for service at the Publix on Santa Barbara Boulevard on April 27th in reference to a retail theft.

A man was reportedly observed through surveillance video riding on a motorized cart wearing a blue bonnet cap, a black jacket, a red/purple flowered long dress, and white sneakers. He was seen selecting 28 Enfamil Formula cans. He concealed them under his dress and then left the store without paying… Fox35 News

Fugitive rats out mom, friend In retail theft

An Iowa woman who allegedly went on a shoplifting spree is wanted on a warrant for retail theft. Tinley Park police were in court seeking an arrest warrant for Jasmine Dumas, 25, who with two accomplices, one of them her mother, allegedly filling hampers with clothing at a local store.

A security officer were able to obtain the license plate number as Dumas and her friend entered a car and fled the parking lot, the detective said. Connie Dumas, 42, of Sauk Village, was the alleged getaway driver. There is an active warrant for Connie Dumas’ arrest, according to court records.

The detective said that Dumas, a native of Steger, was picked up by Illinois State Police. She reportedly identified her accomplices, including her mother, reportedly stating, “If I’m going down, they’re going down with me… Tinley Park Patch

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