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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – May 2017

Drunken driving suspect gives her name as Hillary Clinton

Authorities say a drunken driving suspect who was chased by police from Maryland into Pennsylvania identified herself as Hillary Clinton. Pennsylvania State Trooper Robert Politowski says the woman he arrested early Tuesday is actually 36-year-old Holly Lynn Donahoo, of Louisville, Kentucky.She was being chased by sheriff’s deputies from Garrett County, Maryland, and Maryland State Police when she drove into Wharton Township, in Pennsylvania’s Fayette County. Politowski joined the chase and used spike strips to flatten Donahoo’s tires. She was taken to a hospital, where police say she refused drugs and alcohol testing. She has been jailed on charges including driving under the influence and fleeing or eluding police.  Donahoo doesn’t have an attorney. Her preliminary hearing is set for May 9.  It’s unclear why she identified herself as Hillary Clinton. [Source: NWI]

California Chick-fil-A store seeks stolen cow costumes

A California Chick-fil-A franchise is waiting for its cows to come home after thieves absconded with three mascot costumes from a storage shed earlier this week. The shop posted news Tuesday on Facebook of the Sunday night theft from a store in the city of Folsom. The post pleaded with customers to help find the kidnapped cows.

James Daack, the store’s hospitality director, said Thursday they just want the cows back with no questions asked.“We’re hoping that through us reaching out in numerous ways, that the people who took the cows will come to their senses and bring the cows back to us,” he said. “We’re hoping it’s a prank.”

The Chick-fil-A fast food chain based in Georgia specializes in chicken sandwiches. Its ads feature crafty yet spelling-challenged cows that urge customers to “Eat Mor Chikin.” Some commenters on Facebook called the theft “beefnapping” and said that stealing cows is called “rustling.” Folsom police are investigating. Police Sgt. Andrew Bates said he expects the cow costumes to turn up given the media attention [Source: Times Leader]

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Florida woman charged in shoplifting blames grandson

A Lake City, Florida, woman arrested on a shoplifting charge pinned the misdeed on her 11-year-old grandson, according to Lake City police. Beverly J. Seay, 54, was charged with shoplifting and contributing to the delinquency of a minor after loss prevention associates from Belk in Lake City Mall said they saw Seay putting items, like a nightgown, in her purse and giving her grandson items to hide for her. Loss prevention associates told police they also saw her put children’s clothing in her cart and telling her grandson to hide the hangers under a rack.

Seay left the store with an empty cart but a bulging purse. When loss prevention associates tried to stop her, Seay emptied her purse and walked out, though she was stopped shortly after by police. She denied wrongdoing and blamed the thefts on the boy, calling him her “godson,” the arrest report said. Seay has two earlier theft charges and was charged with felony shoplifting. She was held in the Columbia County jail. [Source: The Gainsville Sun]

iPhone app leads to suspected burglar

A probation officer used an iPhone app to lead police to a suspect who allegedly burglarized his home. The victim told police that someone had broken into his Agana Heights apartment and stole a firearm, ammunition, cellphones and car keys Thursday night. His vehicle was also missing.

The Find My iPhone app alerted the victim to the stolen phone’s location, which was a few streets away from his home. Police conducted a check of a parking lot in Agana Heights across from the Governor’s House, where they found Bradley Mony, 29, in possession of a backpack that contained the law enforcement officer’s duty weapon and ammunition.

Court documents state Mony denied owning the backpack and became belligerent. He was arrested and charged with burglary, theft of property and possession of a firearm without a firearms ID card. The police investigation continues as there may have been other suspects involved in the burglary.  [Source: The Guam Daily Post]

LP Solutions

Lawyer’s pants catch fire during arson trial

It seemed like a set up to a tired joke: A lawyer’s pants caught on fire in court. But on Wednesday, it was Stephen Gutierrez’s reality when the Florida defense attorney’s pants began smoking during an arson trial, Eleventh Circuit Court Public Relations Director Eunice Sigler confirmed to NBC News. Gutierrez, 28, was in the in the Miami-Dade county courtroom defending 49-year-old Claudy Charles, who was accused of setting his car alight. But During his closing argument, Gutierrez began to feel heat coming from his pocket where he had several electric cigarette batteries, he told NBC News in an email.

As Gutierrez argued Charles’ car had merely spontaneously combusted, the lawyer’s pants seemed to do the same. Witnesses in the courtroom told the Miami Herald the moment was “surreal,” as Gutierrez rushed out of the courtroom while smoke billowed from his pocket. Gutierrez said as the heat intensified, he hurried into the bathroom where he tossed the battery in water. He was able to return to the courtroom with a singed pocket.  [Source: NBC News]

LP Worldwide: Police arrest gang who stole iPhones from Madrid Apple store by chewing security cables

The group, which included eight minors, stole 24 high-end iPhones over the period, with the total haul valued at approximately €23,000 ($24,350). While the Apple Store in question is not identified, other than being located in Madrid, sources of El Mundo believe it to be the Puerta del Sol outlet in the center of the city. 

According to Madrid police, the investigation started late last year, after staff noticed an increase in iPhones disappearing from the shop floor. Multiple members of the group entered the store on each occasion in a “joint, planned, and distributed manner,” spreading out to make it harder for staff to find the iPhone once they are alerted to the attempted theft. 

One member of the team was tasked with biting down and chewing on the security cable until it was weak enough to be ripped apart, an act caught on the in-store security cameras. Once free, iPhones were passed between the thieves towards the exit, where a waiting gang member would then remove it from the store.  All ten members of the gang have been arrested, after police caught one member attempting to sell one of the stolen iPhones valued at €900 ($952). The juvenile group members are now incarcerated, while the two adults have been issued with a restraining order, banning them from being within 100 meters (328 feet) from the store.  [Source: Apple Insider]

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