You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – February 2018

Dead goose falls from sky, knocks hunter unconscious

A waterfowl hunter is in stable condition after a dead goose fell from the sky and knocked him unconscious. Robert Meilhammer of Dorchester County was hunting with three other people when one of them fired at a flock of Canada geese overhead in Easton, near the Miles River on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. Maryland Natural Resources Police spokeswoman Candy Thomson said a falling goose hit Meilhammer, knocking him out and causing head and facial injuries.  [Source: Yakima–Herald]

Reward offered for missing Red Panda unicycle

The Red Panda Acrobat, renowned for her daring plate-juggling routine while balancing on a unicycle during halftime at sporting events across the country, is missing the heart of her act, and her agent is offering cold-hard cash to make her whole again. On Jan. 24, the performer’s custom-made 7½-foot unicycle disappeared from baggage claim at San Francisco International Airport, and Pat Figley of San Francisco-based Farallon Entertainment is offering a $2,000 no-questions-asked reward for its recovery, according to KTVU. The acrobat, whose name is Rong Niu, is reportedly “heartbroken” by the loss. “It’s like her baby was kidnapped,” Figley told the TV station. “She’s had that unicycle for 30 years.” Figley said Niu had arrived after a flight from Denver and was waiting for the bagged unicycle at a luggage carousel when she lost sight of it, adding that someone grabbed it, possibly by mistake. According to a San Francisco Police Department bulletin, a suspect walked into the Terminal 3 baggage claim between 1:15 and 2:30 p.m. and took a black roller suitcase containing the unicycle, valued at $25,000. The suspect was described as a white man with a full beard and red hair gathered in a ponytail. He was last seen wearing a white long-sleeved shirt, gray or dark-colored pants and black Sketchers shoes. Anyone with information about the suspect can contact the airport’s cargo theft task force at 650-821-7530.  [Source: The Daily Republic]

Theft suspect busted after truck gets stuck

Some good Samaritans who came to help a North Carolina man get his truck out of a ditch discovered the truck held some items stolen from their own store. And when police were summoned, they discovered the man had stolen a big truck to help free his own stuck vehicle. That’s according to the Carteret County Sheriff’s Office. Major Jason Wank said deputies were called Friday after workers at an auto parts store tried to help 27-year-old Taylor Russell Valentine of Morehead City. Wank said they discovered items stolen from their business. He also said Valentine had stolen a large truck and used it to try to free his own truck. Valentine is jailed on multiple charges, with bond set at $20,000. It’s not known if he has an attorney. [Source: Fox News]

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Man with sledgehammer pounds dozen parked Dallas police cars

Authorities say a man took a sledgehammer to about a dozen squad cars in a Dallas police station parking lot. Police say the man walked into the Dallas Central Patrol parking lot at the city’s marshal’s office detention center before dawn Sunday and started hitting the cars. The center holds people arrested for public intoxication and other low-level misdemeanors. His name hasn’t been released and other details of the incident haven’t been disclosed. Authorities say the man has been taken to jail.  [Source: Yakima-Herald]

Clerk attempts to stop shoplifter with pepper spray, also gets sprayed

Police and ambulance crews were called to the Rite Aid in Jackson, Mississippi, around 9:30 a.m. Friday, authorities said. When they got to the store they found out that the clerk attempted to stop a shoplifter by using pepper spray, investigators said. Police said the crook ran behind the counter to steal some cigarettes, and the clerk used pepper spray to stop the thief but sprayed too much. Some of the agent also hit the clerk, investigators said. The clerk was still wiping his eyes profusely when a 16 WAPT crew arrived on the scene. He said this was one of the worst experiences and that he doesn’t think his eyes will ever stop burning. The thief left, but officers were able to capture and arrest him later for shoplifting, authorities said.  [Source: WAPT16 News]

Pizza shop employees discover attempted robber is fired coworker [Viral Video]

A couple of pizza shop employees in Massachusetts took down a masked robber on Tuesday evening, only to discover that the would-be thief was a former co-worker. Sean Coulson, 30, burst into the Northeast Pizza in Barre at around 8:30 p.m., wearing a ski mask and waving what appeared to be a gun, the Worcester Telegram reports. After jumping over the counter, Coulson grabbed a bag containing $165 in cash and attempted to flee, but the on-duty employees weren’t about to let that happen. In surveillance footage from the pizza shop, two employees and one other male can be seen attempting to wrestle Coulson to the ground, at which point a fight ensued. The workers eventually managed to pin Coulson down, at which point they unmasked him and learned he was a former employee of Northeast Pizza. An employee says Coulson also claimed the entire robbery was “just a joke.” “He was like, ‘Trevor, please. It’s me, Sean,” said Trevor Kosla, who spoke with Fox 25 Boston. “He kept saying ‘It’s just a joke, it’s just a joke.’ That is not a joke by any means.” Kosla and the two other men held Coulson down until police arrived, at which point he was arrested. Police also learned that the firearm Coulson had brandished was just a replica.  [Source: Fox25 Boston]

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