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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – December 2018

Gas-passing customer pulls knife on man who complained

A Florida woman faces an aggravated assault charge after authorities say she passed gas in line at a dollar store and pulled a knife on a man who complained about it. Citing a Broward Sheriff’s Office report, the Miami Herald reports 37-year-old Shanetta Yvette Wilson passed gas while waiting in line at a Dollar General Sunday night and upset a nearby customer.

The report says the offended customer and Wilson then got into an argument “in reference to the defendant farting loudly.” It says Wilson then pulled a small folding knife out of her purse and told the victim she was going to “gut” him while moving as if to attack him. Wilson was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.   [Source: YakimaHerald]

Police chase ends with suspect shooting himself

A shoplifting suspect shot himself in the head during a brief police chase through Texas. The Harris County Precinct 5 Constable’s Office says deputies tried to stop the man as he led them down the W. Sam Houston Toll Road.

Earlier that night, deputies say a woman was accused of shoplifting at a Target on Eldridge Parkway. The woman was then escorted out of the store and got into a vehicle with a man and remained in the parking lot. Authorities say employees were afraid when the car did not leave, so they called the police.

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Once deputies identified the vehicle, a chase began. The man began speeding on W. Sam Houston Tollway and then stopped on the exit ramp overpass to I-10. The man then got out of the vehicle and shot himself in the head. He is currently on life support. Authorities say they are not expecting the man to recover from the self-inflicted wound, therefore, they say he will not be charged.   [Source: ABC13 Eyewitness News]

Applicant arrested for shoplifting after job interview

A young man in Florida went for a job interview at Kohl’s and decided to pick up a little something for mom on his way out. The only problem is, he didn’t pay for the shoes he got her. In fact, the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office arrested him as he approached his car in the parking lot. Deputies identified the suspected shoplifter as 24-year-old Dominick Breedlove. He was taken to the county detention center and charged with retail theft.

Investigators said a loss prevention associate spotted Breedlove canvasing the shoe department after his interview. After finding a pair without a security tag, he went to his car to retrieve a Kohl’s bag from a previous purchase. When he returned he allegedly bagged a $80 pair of women’s Nike Air Bella TR shoes and a $70 pair of women’s Nike Elite TR shoes. Authorities said Breedlove headed straight for the exit without making an attempt to pay for the shoes. Law enforcement was already outside waiting for him. His bond was set at $500 and he was not hired by Kohl’s.   [Source: Hawaii News Now]

Social media helps recover stolen bearded dragon lizard

A spur of the moment theft of a pet reptile in North Idaho has left a 19-year-old man facing a misdemeanor charge. The animal, described as a “bearded dragon lizard” named ‘Stumpy,’ was stolen from a Priest River pet store and was later located through social media. Court documents show that Kurtis Barker-Hayden is facing a petty theft charge in the case.

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According to a Bonner County sheriff’s deputy report, the owners of Priest River Pets on Highway 2 in Priest River reported the theft in late August. “The owner suspected a group of young adults (3 total) who entered the store around the time of the theft,” wrote deputy J. Thompson in an incident report. The bearded dragon lizard was valued at $70.

The owner of Priest River Pets, documents say, recognized a woman in the group and subsequently located her social media profile. “[Female] had postings showing a lizard consistent with the stolen one and [female] captioning that it was her ‘new pet’,” wrote Thompson. When later contacted, the woman said Barker-Hayden stole the lizard from the store and was in possession of the animal. Barker-Hayden later met with Thompson and handed over the lizard.

Bearded dragon lizards, according to retailer Petco, are “arguably the most popular pet reptile, especially for new reptile owners.” The company’s website lists them as an “incredible pet because of their bonding ability and docile nature.”   Source: [KREM2 News]

Store greeter asked to help shoplifter steal

A New York woman who Niagara Falls Police said tried to enlist the aid of a store greeter in a shoplifting attempt was arrested Friday and accused of trying to take $336 worth of groceries from the Tops Market. Police said that the woman approached the store greeter and asked him to help her pack some un-bagged groceries into her vehicle, police said. After going outside the store, another employee confronted the woman over the alleged theft, at which time she abandoned her shopping cart and fled. Michelle C. Santoro, 37, was arrested a short time later and charged with petit larceny. Police said the stolen groceries were all recovered.   [Source: The Buffalo News]

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Busted shoplifter leads police to dead alligators

A Monday report of shoplifting at a Florida Walmart turned into the recovery of two dead alligators, an arrest affidavit states. Fort Pierce Police just before 5 p.m. went to the Walmart and spoke to a loss prevention associate.The LP associate said a man identified as Christian Elmore, 25, absconded with fishing gear. The loss prevention associate reported Elmore put the items in the back of his vehicle.

Elmore agreed to give the merchandise back. When he opened the trunk of his silver Toyota police saw the two dead alligators and the Walmart items. The stolen items were valued at $232.37. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers took the dead alligators, the report states. Elmore, of Fort Pierce, was arrested on two felony counts related to killing or possessing alligators and a single misdemeanor theft charge.   [Source: TC Palm]

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