We are not here just to fill space or be in the background in someone elses life. Nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Everybody you have had a relationship with and every place you have been would have been different without you. There is a connection, and we are affected by those experiences, decisions, and relationships. Some believe that things happen for a reason, that there is some mysterious energy that causes an action or creates a result. Maybe there is; maybe theres not. But for sure each of us has had an effect on others because of what we have done.
Take my cat, for instance. Yes, I have a catnot to the delight of my wife I must addand here is how it happened. One day this mommy cat strayed into my backyard with a litter of five kittens. The mommy cat looked hungry, so I set some food out. They all kept coming back, so soon I was in the backyard trying to become a cat lover and was hooked.
The runt of the group seemed to be the most playful and would literally beg for affection. I admit it made me feel good to rub the little kittens head and provide food and a little safety. Knowing that at some point the kittens would go away and one by one not come back, and that cats last one, maybe two, years living in the wild, I decided I would give the runt kitten a home. My little friend the cat is now nine years old, and both our lives have been different due to my decision to feed mommy and the kittens.
Just as it is in our work world, we meet people, establish relationships, make friends, and our lives are changed forever. Sometimes it is not all good. Many say these are difficult economic times, and the risks are high that job losses will affect you or one of your friends. Lets say it is you , and suddenly you are out of a job. Trying to make it through unemployment is very stressful. Trying to make it through on your own is even worse.
Your friends can provide support and companionship when you are feeling down and likely can help you in your job search. But dont be alarmed or disappointed with the number of friends who areor are notwilling to help you. When you are employed, you have what you think is a long list of friends, associates, partners, bosses, and subordinates. When you dont have a job, you may find the list has remarkably shortened. Move forward with those willing to really help, and take some friendship actions.
Start with being good to yourself. You need to be your own best friend and be kind to yourself. You are not a bad person; you are just temporarily out of a job, and you and your friends are going to help change that.
Stop yourself when you start thinking of what you coulda, woulda, shoulda done. Instead, focus on what you can, should, and will do going forward.
Ask your friends for help. Sounds pretty basic, but many people are afraid or embarrassed to do so. Your friends want to help, and it makes them feel good to help you.
Tell your friends how much you appreciate their support and guidance and how much you care that they care to help you.
Be willing to share your problems with your friends, whether they are financial, emotional, marital, or job related. It is likely your friends have suffered through similar problems and can relate. By sharing, you gain perspective and find solutions.
Listen to your friends. They will tell you that bad things sometimes happen to good people.
Give yourself time. You will not feel the effects of this bad thing forever. It is true that time will heal this wound, your distress will pass, and new opportunities will come because you have friends who are willing to help you.
Your friends know that their lives would have been different without you, and that is the driving reason for their eagerness to help you. For many, that is what friendship really is. Remember that you have not finished the best part of your life.