Do you believe in spirits? Not the alcohol kind or the cheerleading kind. I mean “real spirits” like ghosts, the hereafter, and visitations. One thing is for sure—we are all going to leave this world, and then we will know for sure if there is more to the story. I would like to believe there is more, so I choose to believe in spirits. And I have proof of this, but that is a personal story for another time.
So I have been making what I call a “spirit bucket list”—those things I want to do when my spirit comes back to this world. I am sharing this with you because after I am gone (and I hope that is not too soon), you might see some of these things happen and give me credit for it. Here goes:
- At the annual Loss Prevention Foundation golf event, there will be two, not one, but two holes in one. Thinking about making them both by women, but not sure yet. Seems like we just never have a hole in one in these events, and it would be fun.
- On occasion, and as often as I can, you may see a grab-and-run shoplifter heading for the door and slip and fall. That would be me tripping the culprit. That would be fun to watch, don’t you think?
- Speaking of tripping, I have decided to hang by the men’s restroom, and when I see a scoundrel not washing his hands after doing his business, whoops away we go.
- I am going to sit in on a few vendor-practitioner-buyer sales calls. And when I hear either side twisting the truth or outright lying, then I am going to tie their tongue up and listen to them start stuttering. So if you hear the stutter, that is me keeping the truth on the table.
- Whenever there is a good VP-level job opening, I am going to keep slipping the resume of a few seasoned veterans to the top of the heap. Seems like HR and the other hiring executives take a mark down or give little consideration to those applicants who are past their early fifties or have taken an early retirement from a previous job. No other profession seems to eliminate the seasoned VP as much as retail. Well, not on my spiritual watch.
- What to do with CEOs and C-level executives who just have no appreciation for the LP or AP person? Can’t think of another group other than LP who spends as much time and energy on training and self-education, all in the spirit of getting and doing better. Yet there are some at the highest level who care only about themselves. I will have my spirit just off stage doing all I can to hurt those selfish executives.
- There are two things that I despise when out eating at a restaurant. The first are cheap tippers. There are more than you think. If you can afford to eat out, then you can afford to be respectful and helpful to a group of people who don’t make much and rely on tips. For many, these are second jobs or jobs to support their own education. I’m going to use all my spiritual powers to move the tip dial.
- My other restaurant peeve is men who sit at the table with hats on their heads. Are they having a bad hair day, have no hair, or just think it is cool and styling to wear a hat at a restaurant? Do they wear a hat at home? Do they have no respect for others sitting around them? So when you are out at dinner and all of sudden a hat goes flying off the head of someone at another table, that will be my spirit knocking it off. This will really be fun watching those hats fly.
- I fear I will only have time for one more spiritual task, so I choose to make it the “dobber.” Do you know what a dobber is? That is when your lower lip pushes down and out because things have gotten tough and you are pouting and boo-hooing. When you choose to work in LP and AP, there will be a lot of moments when you can get your dobber down. It can be tough. Either get out or get it on. Start earlier, work a little harder, and accept the challenges for what they are. If you feel a pushing at your back, that will be my spirit giving you the nudge.
That is my spiritual bucket list. I’m not ready to start yet, so for now a nice spiritual drink may just be fine.